July 11, 2019 – It's surprising how physical grief may be. Your heart literally aches. A memory comes flooding back that makes your stomach clench or sends shivers down your spine. Some nights your mind is racing and your heart is racing with it, your body so stuffed with energy you'll be able to barely sleep. Other nights you're so drained you go to sleep immediately. You get up the following morning still exhausted and spend many of the day in bed.Amy Davis, a 32-year-old from Bristol, Tennessee, became sick with grief after Molly, a detailed 38-year-old member of the family, died of cancer. “The grief was very physically taxing for me,” Davis says. “After the shock and adrenaline of the first few weeks wore off, I went through a few months of extreme fatigue, with nausea, headaches, loss of appetite, disrupted sleep cycles, dizziness and sun sensitivity. It was extremely difficult to anything… If there's one thing I want to teach people about grief, it's how awful it can make your body feel.” What causes these physical symptoms? Plenty of studies show the powerful effects grief can have on the body. Grief increases inflammation, which might worsen existing health problems and cause latest ones. It weakens the immune system, weakening the body and making it vulnerable to infections. The heartache of grief can increase blood pressure and increase the danger of blood clots. Intense grief can change the guts muscle a lot that it causes “broken heart syndrome,” a type of heart disease with the identical symptoms as a heart attack.Stress combines the emotional and physical elements of grief. The systems within the body that process physical and emotional stress overlap, and emotional stress can activate the nervous system just as easily as physical threats. When stress becomes chronic, elevated adrenaline and blood pressure levels can contribute to chronic disease.Research shows that emotional pain prompts the identical brain regions as physical pain. This could also be why painkillers from opioids to Tylenol relieve emotional pain.Normal vs. pathological grief
Depression isn't a standard a part of grief, but a complication of it. Depression increases the danger of grief-related health complications and infrequently requires treatment to resolve them, so it's necessary to know the best way to recognize its symptoms. Sidney Zisook, MD, a grief researcher and professor of psychiatry on the University of California, San Diego, says people can distinguish normal grief from depression by searching for certain emotional patterns.
“In normal grief, the sad thoughts and feelings typically come in waves or bursts followed by periods of calm, as opposed to the prolonged depressed mood and distress of major depressive disorder,” Zisook says.
He says that in normal grief, people often retain “their self-esteem, their sense of humor, and the ability to be comforted or distracted from pain,” while those with depression struggle with feelings of guilt and worthlessness and have limited ability to “feel or expect any pleasure or joy.”
Complicated grief is different from each depression and normal grief. M. Katherine Shear, professor of psychiatry at Columbia University's School of Social Work and director of its Center for Complicated Grief, defines complicated grief as “a form of persistent, profound grief” that doesn't improve by itself. It occurs when “some of the natural thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that occur during acute grief take hold and interfere with the ability to accept the reality of the loss.”
Symptoms of complicated grief include persistent attempts to disregard the grief and to disclaim or “rewrite” what happened. Complicated grief increases the danger of physical and mental health problems, comparable to depression, anxiety, sleep problems, suicidal thoughts and behavior, and physical illness.
How does avoidance harm your health?
Margaret Stroebe, PhD, a grief researcher and professor of clinical psychology at Utrecht University, says recent research has make clear a lot of “the cognitive and emotional processes underlying complications of grief, particularly rumination.”
Research shows that rumination, or repetitive, negative, self-focused thoughts, is definitely a solution to avoid problems. People who ruminate divert their attention from painful truths by specializing in negative things which can be less threatening than the truths they need to avoid. This pattern of pondering is strongly related to depression.
Rumination and other types of avoidance drain energy and block the body and mind's natural abilities to integrate and heal latest realities. Research by Stroebe and others shows that avoidance behaviors make depression, complicated grief, and the physical health problems related to them more likely. Efforts to avoid the truth of loss could cause fatigue, weaken your immune system, worsen inflammation, and lengthen other suffering.
How do role adjustments affect your health?
When someone near you dies, your social role changes, which might affect your sense of meaning and self-esteem.
Before she lost Molly, Davis found personal value in “being good at helping and caring for other people.” But after Molly's death, she felt like she “couldn't help anyone for a while.” Losing that role “tipped the bucket” of her identity. Davis says, “I felt like I had nothing to offer. So I had to learn my value from other angles.”
Caregivers face particularly difficult role adjustments. The physical and emotional demands of caregiving can leave them feeling exhausted even before the death of a loved one, and the lack of the person they cared for could cause them to lose their sense of purpose in life.
“Studies show that caregivers are not only exposed to high levels of stress during intensive care phases, but also do not find the time and energy to take care of their own health,” says Dr. Kathrin Boerner, grief researcher and professor of gerontology on the University of Massachusetts in Boston.
“This can lead to new health problems arising after the death of the care recipient or the re-emergence of existing, 'dormant' health problems. These health problems may or may not be directly related to the caregiver's experience of grief, but they are likely related to the life situation created by the demands of care,” says Boerner.
It may be difficult to get back on course with life after the death of a detailed member of the family. Losing a partner may mean moving out of the shared home or asking other family members for help, which might add to emotional stress and worry. According to Strobe, the stress of adjusting to life and health changes during and after a loss can “increase vulnerability and reduce adaptive reserves for coping with grief.”
What are you able to do to manage along with your grief?
Emotional and physical self-care are necessary ways to ease the complications of grief and promote recovery. Exercising, spending time in nature, getting enough sleep, and talking with family members can contribute to physical and mental health.
“Normal grief does not require professional intervention in most cases,” says Zisook. “Grief is a natural, instinctive response to loss, adaptation occurs naturally, and healing is the natural outcome,” especially with “time and the support of loved ones and friends.”
Grief researchers stress that social support, self-acceptance and good self-care often help people overcome normal grief. (Shear encourages people to “plan small rewarding activities and try to enjoy them as much as possible.”) But researchers say people need skilled help to heal from complicated grief and depression.
Davis says therapy and physical activities like walking have helped her cope. Social support helped her probably the most, with friends trying to succeed in out to her fairly than waiting or asking her to succeed in out to them.
“The problem with grief, depression, sorrow and suicidal thoughts is that you just cannot reach. For many individuals going through a difficult time, reaching out is unattainable. If your friend is grieving, reach out. Do the legwork. You're too exhausted!”
Davis' advice to most grieving people is: “Go for it. You can only grieve for your beloved once. Don't spend all of your time distracting yourself or attempting to suppress it. It does will eventually disappear, and you may miss feeling connected to that person again. And when you feel like your whole life has fallen apart, that's OK! It absolutely has. Now you'll be able to resolve the best way to put yourself back together. Be creative. There is latest life to live throughout you.”